accepting the truth
I sat with my dad today. It had been awhile, you know, since the change and all. We went for a long drive. The spring weather was nice. I could smell the fresh buds finally starting to flourish and that unusual summer smell of grass just around the corner. But I couldn’t feel the wind through my hair. I guess it was a good thing; it wouldn’t go with the look I was going for anyway. I was finally starting to realize things, I was piecing it all together, one day at a time, one puzzle piece at a time. Sometimes even when you’re living in a realistic reality world, it doesn’t feel that way until reality actuality hits you. I was afraid for so long, but mostly just angry at the world, and myself. I felt that if I spoke what I had out loud, it would make it more real. Reality is such a funny thing. It’s there without choice, acts without choice, and chooses to be there without choice. Either you come to grips with it, or let it overpower you day after day, until it finally consumes you. This reality, my reality has a name. Its name is Cancer. It’s been following me around for 58 days, 6 hours and 29 minutes. It’s there, but then again it’ll always be there. The wind in my hair won’t be. But that’s okay. It’s my reality.